Our first few days in Port au Prince have been trying, on both an emotional and a physical level. There was a major incident just hours after our arrival that left me and my team mates overwhelemed with feelings of guilt, doubt, sadness, and heartbreak.
What's amazing is that while our spirits were low, the spirits of the Haitians were there to comfort us. The Haitians that were more directly affected were not bending over backwards- they were doing double back roundoff handspring triple axle front flips to make sure we were being comforted. What's great about that is that we accepted their servitude. Sometimes that's hard for Americans because of pride and the feeling that we go to countries like Haiti to serve because those people need our help, because we are 'priviliged'. Far from the truth.

Something I frequently hear about from people who have traveled to third world countries is that they come home reminded how lucky we are here in America
(and they don't forget to remind those around them of their so-called luck, either. Finish your food! Kids are starving in Africa!)
However, I am learning that my idea of luck must be constrewed.
I'm lucky to own a car so I never have to walk anywhere.
I'm lucky that I have a warm bed so I can blast the AC and still be comfy n cozy under all those blankets.
I'm lucky that I have a cell phone so I don't have to have face-to-face time unless neccessary.
I'm lucky to have an over-abundance food, most being toxic to my body, available for me to eat 24/7.
I'm lucky to have electricity so I can sit around and watch 900 channels of television while my laptop is on, refreshing my facebook homepage every two minutes or so.
I'm lucky to have so many cute clothes in my closet, some I will only wear once or twice, otherwise I'd always look bad and would constantly do laundry. Drats!!!

Why do we think we are lucky, or blessed, because of things? We are reliant on them.
I rely on my car to get me to school and work. No car= no school and no work = a loser going nowhere in life.

I know we have all heard that we are living in a material world (and I am a material girl), but don't mistake our over-consumption and over-prosterity a blessing when it is a curse.

I'd say more but I g2g check my Twitter.

2010

i've never been one to make new years resolutions, but this year i resolved to be someone that makes new years resolutions. so, here's my cliche list of 2010 resolutions- without a twist.

1. god first. not me, not guys, not books, not seasons 3 and 4 of dexter.

2. me second. a very close second. not in a selfish way, but in a self-love way (btw i realize this sounds like something sam bradford says in that video circulating facebook. ha).

3. love those in my life that are hardest to love- and show it. this one's a tough one for me.

4. watch the next season of big brother. laura is my big brother watching buddy, and it was something that we did together that was so much fun. we get waaaay too involved.

5. more quality time with my friends. i've been really bad at this, especially when i'm drowned in schoolwork. i'm already a bit of an introvert and stress/busy-ness= me thinking i need more alone time.

6. not procrastinating as much. i wish i could say that i resolve to eliminate procrastination, but sometimes me working under pressure is okay...just not all the time. if you think you are a bad procrastinator, i can guarantee you i'm worse. i couldn't tell you how much money, time, stress, and good grades my procrastination has caused me.

7. reduce my presence at social events with alcohol. breeding grounds for trouble.

8. go to church on wednesday nights. i always did up until probably my sophomore year of college, and i miss it.

9. write/journal more.

1o. read everything i can get my hands on. i already pretty much do this, but i'm the type of person that either reads an entire book all in a day or two's time, or i'll read a few chapters and not pick it up for like a month (if ever again).

11. get a netflix account.

12. alright..this one's going to sound even dumber than #11...don't get too stressed out when looking at my urban outfitters catalog that comes in the mail monthly. same goes for window shopping and just shopping in general. if i see clothing that i feel i must have, i get all stressed that i can't buy the entire store and then i feel like i'll never be fashionable enough...haha, so stupid.

13. manage my money better. or, just manage my money. i'm terrrrrible with money. just terrible.

14. answer my phone/call people back. i screen calls like nobodies business.

15. beat more people at words with friends.

16. i'm a pretty good speller, but there are some words i can't ever seem to spell quite right. i want to be able to spell these words without having to think twice:
-exercise
-definitely
-forward (i always want to put an 'e' after the 'r')
-necessarily
-privilege
..and yes, i had to look up all of the above words on google.


there are a few things that i already do that i want to continue doing in 2010 and to infinity and beyond. such as...

1. exercise regularly. not counting over this christmas break, i've done a pretty good job at having an exercise routine for the past few years.

2. love my job.

3. make smoothies.

4. quote movies all the time.

5. not eating at sodexho.